Just to
make sure we're on the same page here, I should probably start by saying that
her name isn't really Elizabeth. Elizabeth
is the name I've chosen for this particular post because the real woman prefers
to remain anonymous. I figured if I had
to come up with some false names when sharing stories that are given to me, I
would chose some names from inspiring literary characters. Names of inspirational characters for
inspirational people who are willing to share their stories in hopes that they will help others...makes sense to me :).
So, today's story happens to be named after one of the greatest of all
time - Elizabeth Bennet from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Thank you Elizabeth for sharing your story
with me and anyone else who happens upon this blog! I chose to share this story first because it
came to me from someone I do not know personally and that served as a reminder
to me of why I started this blog in the first place...to provide a connecting
point with others who are traveling or have traveled a rocky road to
parenthood. We travel the road together
and I am grateful that God has given us this space to share our experiences
with each other. Elizabeth wrote out her
own story and I will be sharing it just as it was shared with me (with the
exception of a few minor adjustments to ensure her anonymity as I promised).
I'll start my story with the
birth of my niece in November of 2009, that was the first time I knew for sure
I was ready to have a baby. My husband and I talked about it and began
preparing by finding myself a better job with benefits and him taking a promotion
at work. We thought that once we had our finances in order and the right state
of mind all we had to do then was the baby dance and get pregnant. Well we
officially started trying in November of 2010. When January rolled around and
we still weren't pregnant that's when the fights would begin and the intimacy
became forced and not very much fun. Well on February 4, 2011 I got that beautiful
BFP! It was the day before I left on a week long vacation with my best friend
to Florida. I was elated and surprised my husband with the positive test and a
little note stating that we had done it! He came home that night from work and
immediately called me, we were so excited. The next morning I headed to Florida
with my BFF.
When I returned a week later I
found that my husband had been working on the house to prepare for baby and had
already been online picking out furniture. To say we were happy was putting it
mildly. The following day at work I told my boss b/c I had called the doctor
and made my first appointment for 2 weeks later. Things went on just as usual
all the while we held this big secret because we wanted to surprise the family
since we always joked that we would never have a baby.
The week before my first
appointment I started to bleed, it was a Wednesday and it wasn't bright red and
there was no pain so we weren't too freaked out yet. I called the Dr's office
and they told me to take it easy and lay with my feet elevated and go to the ER
if the bleeding got worse. Friday morning is when the horrible cramps came
along with the bright red blood. We headed to the ER at 7:30, I was put back in
a room fairly quickly then came all the tests including a vaginal ultrasound (
which is extremely painful.) When we were getting ready to leave at about noon
the Dr told us there was still a developing fetus and my numbers were high but
I should get them checked again on Monday. I never broke down and cried that
day I was just numb, my husband however didn't fair as well. That weekend just happened to be the weekend
one of my hubby's family members was moving in with us to stay for a few weeks.
His dad also stopped in to stay a few days. So we had this thing happening and
couldn't tell anyone and we couldn't be alone, it was really hard. On Monday I
went and had my blood drawn and waited for a phone call which came around 4:30.
The nurse informed me that my numbers had dive bombed and it was considered an
unviable pregnancy. I'll never forget my drive home, I had to get all my crying
out before I made it home where the family was staying, it was so hard to only
spend 30 minutes mourning and then having to act normal the rest of the night.
I then went in for a follow up to make sure everything went back to normal a
week later. Since I was only 6 weeks I didn't have to do a D&C or anything
like that.
We were told to wait two cycles
before trying again. Two months go by and we start again thinking it only took
3 months the first time, this should be easy. That summer is when I started
getting really in depth into what it took to get pregnant and started my
research on fertility and how to increase it and timing of intercourse. Once
February of 2012 rolled around and we still hadn't gotten pregnant I called my
Dr to start getting tested. I had my progesterone and thyroid levels tested and
they came back normal, then sent hubby in to get a semen analysis which came
back normal. A few weeks later I went in for an HSG test, which I was terrified
of but it went smoothly and showed no blockages. The Dr said its just
unexplained infertility, which sucks. I told my husband that if nothing happens
by March 2013, we will be headed to a fertility clinic in KC or STL to see
about IVF or other options.
I think through the whole ordeal
the hardest parts have been not telling our family what is going on and seeing
tons of girls get pregnant around us. There are literally 5 people that know we
are trying and that is it, I just couldn't handle the constant questions and
advice our parents and family would spring on us if they knew.
To
Elizabeth herself - thank you again for allowing me to share your story. And to anyone else who would be willing to share
your story, please email me at jealousoffertilemyrtle@gmail.com.
