Is she really talking about this?!?!

                Why do people treat infertility and miscarriage as if it's a taboo subject?  This is a concept I have really struggled with through my journey.  During my first year of trying to get pregnant, I didn't talk to anyone about what I was going through besides my husband and my mom.  Steve had to know what was going on because, well, he's kind of involved in the whole trying to conceive process.  My mom knew because she also happens to be my main healthcare provider (more on that another time).  But seriously, I felt uncomfortable talking about my struggles with anyone...even my own family and closest friends who would have loved to provide me with the support I needed earlier if they knew I was struggling.  Maybe it's because I'm a person who doesn't like to admit that I'm struggling with anything (I'm a bit of a control freak that way...ok, I'm A LOT of a control freak in that way and many others), but I think there is more to it than that.  It seems that discussions on infertility and miscarriages so often just get "swept under the rug" because so many people feel uncomfortable talking about it like it's a drug problem or something!  You should see the looks on people's faces sometimes when I admit that I struggle with fertility and that I had a miscarriage.  They look so uncomfortable and surprised to be hearing someone talk so openly about these issues...and it's not like I'm sharing this information with complete strangers (although I guess now I am).  These shocked and uncomfortable looks come from friends.  They don't mean to be rude and I definitely don't take it that way...it just always surprises me again when it happens.  I chose to begin sharing my struggles with people because it was eating me alive to keep them to myself.  I have never felt more alone in this world or depressed as I did about a year into trying to conceive.  And it wasn't until I chose to open up to other women (in my family and my bible study group to start) about what was going on that I began to feel less alone.  And through me sharing my experiences with others, I have been able to connect with several other friends who have also had miscarriages or are struggling to get pregnant.  They helped me and I helped them...we followed and continue to follow a path of healing together.   I know that I'm not alone and that God wants me to share my journey so that others won't feel alone too.  So please don't be surprised or uncomfortable when women you know are open and honest about their fertility struggles or a miscarriage they might have had.  They didn't wish for this, plan on this, and it's not something they did to themselves, but it's a part of their journey nonetheless.  Support them and love them and be proud of them for talking about it if that's what helps them cope :).