The two week wait...

                If you've been trying for any length of time, you know what I mean by the two week wait.  That dreaded time between when you ovulate and when you expect Aunt Flo to visit.  You try not to get wrapped up in any "symptoms" you think you're having, but you can't help getting a little excited when your basal body temperatures are rising well or your chest feels sore or you feel tired or...(this list could go on for awhile).  Never mind that those things happen every month - maybe this time it's a sign of good news.  And then the two weeks are over.  It's either time to cross your fingers and pee on a stick because Aunt Flo didn't show up OR time to stuff your face with chocolate because the witch is back.  Well, the witch came back to visit me again today.  But, for the record, I was good and didn't even touch a single piece of chocolate :) !  In addition to the fact that I'm supposed to avoid eating sugar (more on my dietary guidelines on a post in the near future), I've also been trying to count calories to lose a few pounds and those 50 calories just weren't worth it when I knew I wasn't going to be working out at all today.  But back to the two week wait...14 days of wondering and hoping and praying and "feeling symptoms" that may or may not be there.  I've had to learn over time not to let myself get my hopes up too much during those 14 days because it just makes it that much harder when you start your period and realize that you weren't successful at getting pregnant that cycle.  It's already hard enough thinking about what it would be like to have a baby every day...it's just not worth it to be mad at your body on top of that because it didn't cooperate with you again.  The one time my body did cooperate, I was speechless and almost didn't believe it (well, I guess I didn't believe it because I had to pee on another stick to be sure).  It was an incredible feeling!  And then it ended in a heartbreaking conclusion a few weeks later.  I often think about which is harder - months of no pregnancy success or getting pregnant again only to lose it.  Of course, the best conclusion to the story would be to get pregnant again and have a beautiful and healthy baby!  But if that's not in the cards right now, which is easier to handle - infertility or miscarriage?  I honestly don't know which is worse and I don't think it's a cut and dry answer.  Having fertility issues and having a miscarriage are both tough to handle and I pray often for you other women out there that are struggling with either one or both.  Know that you are beautiful and strong.  And that you are loved by a God who is beyond the aches and pains of this world!